​This is about me.
Not about you.
About me.
Look at me.
This is important.
Don't look away.
I feed on your gaze,
though I'm in control,
because this is about me.
Look at me.
I'm so fine,
you're so not fine.
I'm so much better than you,
though I bear it with humility.
Keep your eyes fixed on me,
this is important.
What do you think?
I don't really care what you think.
But you think I'm cool, right?
Look at me.
I'm important.
The world revolves around me.
Not around you.
You're looking at me.
I'm in control.
I'm so lonely.
Wait what?!?!
No no, I meant to say
I'm so happy.
Just look at me!
Please?
It's an order!!
This is important.
Please don't go.
I don't care about you.
You're nothing to me.
Look at me.
Aren't you jealous?
I want you to think
my life is exceptional.
I need you to think I'm special.
I'm not. It isn't.
But I can't tell you this,
I'll just pretend.
Aren't you even a little bit jealous?
I've got more followers than you do,
I'm more important than you are.
Look at me.
At me, me, me.
I need you.
Fuck off!
Tell you're friends to come by,
so that they can be jealous too.
Please tell them.
Look at me!
I'm important.
I'm what's happening.
Not you.
So look at me!
Please look at me,
I'm desperate!
I've got nothing!
Just you're eyes fixed on me.
But I don't give a shit, you know?
It's cool.
Look at me.
I'm in control.
I'm important.
You're here to see me.
Only me.
Watch me.
Talk about me.
Think good of me.
Please?
Haters gonna hate.
Look at me you piece of shit!
That's better.
Aren't you jealous?
I would be if I were you.
Have I told you I've got more followers than you?
It's not really that important, but I do.
Look at me.
Yes, look at me.
Keep looking.
I don't need you.
But please stay,
I don't want to be alone.
Not alone.
Please don't go.
Look!
I'll dance!
I'll do silly faces?
I'll show you my brunch!
My cat!
My ass!
Whatever you want!
Just please don't go.
Don't leave me all alone.
Please, I beg of you!!
Look at me.
At me, me, me.
Yes, that's right.
Thank you.
You insignificant turd!
Gotcha there, didn't I?
Keep looking.
Keep looking.
Look at me.
I know you're jealous,
you must be.
Please be jealous.
Criticise me, for all I care!
Talk to or about me,
but please don't go.
Look at me.
Keep looking.
At me, me, me.
Did I mention what shampoo I use?
It's really good.
Like, REALLY good.
Do I need to spell it out loud?
I-m—i-m-p-o-r-t-a-n-t.
Deal with it, bitch.
Look at me.
I don't care,
but I'm glad you're still here.
I've no real friends,
and it gets lonely at night.
No one likes me.
I'm a piece of shit!
But that's not what you think, is it?
No, I've proved to you how amazing my life is:
you must believe me!
Don't go!
Please don't go!!
I need you!
I'm nothing without you!!!
Look at me!!!
At me!!!!! At me!!!!! At me!!!!!!

​What is inside me that wants to be expressed?
What truth do I contain beyond my bullshit?
What songs do I need to compose?
What poems to write?
What images to make?


Sometimes I've had the experience of:
“I was meant to make this”
“This is a significant piece of work”


I'm always working toward that feeling.
It comes rarely, I won't lie to you.


Right now I'm kind of in a mist.
Things are still yet much is happening.
Have you ever had that feeling?


What do you do when you don't know the way forward?
What have you done?


Or is it simply about deciding where to go
and taking steps toward that place?
Could it be that easy?


Then comes the question:
where do I want to go?
Which is intertwined with:
what is there inside me that yearns to be expressed?


What I've done up until now is okay, I mean,
it is pleasant and in some measure, relevant to me.


Then why the need to change?
Change toward what?
How do you start flying
if you feel you don't have wings?
But you do, you know it.
Deep down, you know it.


There's something inside you,
inside me, inside each of us.
Something special, unique.
Something magnificent.
Sometimes it shines.
And it's beautiful.
I have seen it.
Have you?




It sings the most wondrous melodies,
inspires the most exquisite poems,
flashes the most perfect images.


Fills one's heart with delight.


When we overcome the filters,
and the bullshit, and the momentum
of daily living, forgetting to live
and going with the motions
to ease the toughened strain.


That doesn't happen often.
But when it happens, you know it immediately.
When you see someone on the other side,
you feel good and want to be beside them.
They know something.
They're in touch with that something.
That magnificent something.
They're shining it forth
and they're not even trying.
They just let it,
and it happens!


Haven't you noticed?


We notice so little these days.
Filled with shit, distracted,
why do we let it go on??
It is true we copy the people around us.
There are probably other,
more complex reasons too.


How much of our lives
can we say we have truly
whole-heartedly, deliberately,
unconditionally, fully lived?


Why are our standards so low?


I see so much limitation,
so much conditioning,
so much interference,
so much bullshit!


All of which we both
accept and create,
and which leads us
away from our essence!


And so often we aren't even aware
we posess an essence, a core identity.


We get caught up in the superficial
and never dare look deeper.
And then we say life is about surviving!
Dear me! Where have we gone wrong?
And how do we get back on track?


Is this what was intended?


What is inside me that yearns expression?


If I trust it, will it show me the way?


If I fear, and are led astray from it,
on what ground rests my existence?
Is it truth, or is it illusion?


What is inside me that yearns expression?


Will I let it come out?
Or will I try to hide it?